Playing With Fire

What is it with men and fire? I don’t mean striking a match and watching it till it burns their fingers. I don’t mean counting the number of times they can run their fingers through a candle flame. I don’t even mean setting paper on fire and holding it till the last possible moment. No, I mean real fire… a brush fire! Men CANNOT resist a pile of brush cleared form a plot of land, just sitting there waiting, asking to be burned!

Picture me in the kitchen doing dishes. My husband comes in, and nonchalantly says, “I think I’ll go ahead and burn that brush pile.” What sparked this desire to ravage the pile? The neighborhood developer is burning brush on several other plots today. Something about the smell of the smoke invokes an innate desire to burn more stuff! It’s encoded in men’s DNA, and futile to try to resist. Just what does the brush pile look like? Well, see for yourself. My husband is the speck with the white shirt on.

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Our conversation went like this:

S: Are you sure you can burn a pile that big safely?
J: Yeah, it’s not really that big.”
S: Still, why don’t we just split it up and burn it each time we have a campfire?
J: That would take too long. (Translation: it’s not as much fun. growl, growl)
S: I’m just not sure we should burn that big of a pile near the house.
J: It’ll be OK, I’ll stand right here with the hose.
S: (in a matter of fact tone) OK, but if the new house burns down, it’s your fault, OK?
J: OK
S: (sneaks back in to get the camera, then sneaks out to take pictures)
J: THIS BETTER NOT SHOW UP ON YOUR BLOG!

Sorry, honey, it’s just such an interesting study of the male psyche. I have to do it for science’s sake!

A few minutes later, the pile looked like this.

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Then, this.

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That’s him with the little hose standing in front of the TOWERING INFERNO!

Before you get too worried, it died down quickly, my husband got his fire fix, then went to mow the lawn on his new riding lawn mower. (grrrrr) Then, he chopped down two trees with his chainsaw. (grrr grrr) I’m not kidding. Ladies, he’s all man, and he’s all mine!

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