Sarah Pinnix | Children

Autism affects 1 in 110 children, 1 in 70 boys.* Chances are that your children know at least one friend with autism, and you know another parent with an autistic child.

While we were at Disney World last week, we shared a lunch table with a lovely mom and daughter, since the place was pretty crowded. The little girl was about 6. She was very talkative, and friendly, and it soon became evident to me that she was autistic. I have several friends with children on the Autism spectrum, so I’ve tried to learn the behaviors they might have and how to respond. I also want to be a help to my friends, and be able to try to understand what they are going through, although I never can, fully. The sweet little girl repeated phrases over and over, and continually asked where their daddy was. (He was getting the food). When her mom asked her if she wanted mayonnaise with her fries, she warned several times, “Do NOT get mayonnaise in your eye!” Her mom told us she was remembering the day before, when she in fact did get mayonnaise in her eye!

I began to see my children looking at me to see how I responded to the little girl and her mother. They knew there was something unique about the girl, and I knew it was important that my daughters see me treating her with care and respect. So I guided the conversation and asked my daughters, as well as our new little friend, questions to facilitate them communicating with each other.

After lunch, my kids asked about her, and we talked about how all people are different. The girl’s mom had shared during our conversation that she did in fact have autism, so I shared a little about what it is. I tried to convey to my kids that children with autism think differently than we do, but that’s what makes them special and precious. They are just as smart, sometimes even more so, but communicate differently, and that’s OK. I think it is so important not to avoid these “elephant in the room” issues and to teach our kids how to relate to friends who may be a little different from them.

Would you like to meet some of my friends with autistic children? Here are some great links to check out, and awesome moms!

In “Letting Go of Perfect,” Nanette talks about her feelings when her child was first diagnosed.
Sunday Stilwell ( a friend of a friend) gives “10 Things Autism Has Taught Me About Life”. It’s a great read, especially if you’re wondering how to understand autism a little better.

March 27, 2011

My children always have various notes, hand-made posters, and bulletins posted around the house. An anticipated guest might expect to be welcomed with “Come This Way —->” signs about. And then, there are the obligatory “Your Name Here‘s Room” signs. But sometimes they give me such a laugh, I have to share! Walking down the hallway last week, I spotted this benign-looking sign with mermaid stickers, and bright colors. At closer inspection, the text made me laugh out loud!

Yes, folks, it says “Love, Pece, and Stay Out.” This has to beat the time my middle child got mad at me and handed me this note.

So, I’m curious! What’s the funniest note your child has ever written? Oh, please include the original spelling, that makes it totally priceless!

January 17, 2011

Alright moms, I’m going to try not to get on an enormous soapbox here. I’m just going to point out the MADNESS that is going on right now with our nation’s “Childhood Obesity” obsession, and we can discuss in the comments.

Are there obese children? Sure. (mainly older children, after they learn bad habits)

Does obesity have health risks? Of course.

Do we need to talk to children about healthy choices, exercise, eating when they’re hungry and stopping when they’re not? By. All. Means.

But where do we stop? Weighing and measuring every school child’s Body Mass Index (BMI) in school, and issuing a report to the parents of the “obese” children? By the way, the definition of obese has been tampered with, I believe, to make the levels lower, resulting in more “obese” children, which are not really obese. More children that, of course, the state has to “help”with their programs. I’ve seen it with my own eyes, with my friends’ children.

Apparently, lead researcher Brian Moss, a sociologist at Wayne State University in Detroit would have us believe that 1/3 of 9-month-old babies… yes, you heard that right… BABIES… are obese. Let me say that again. Babies are obese.

Stephanie Pappas, of LiveScience.com (via Yahoo) writes:

The path toward obesity starts at a young age – even before babies transition to a solid diet, according to a new study.

Almost one-third of 9-month-olds are obese or overweight, as are 34 percent of 2-year-olds, according to the research, which looked at a nationally representative sample of children born in 2001. The study is one of the first to measure weight in the same group of very young children over time, said lead researcher Brian Moss, a sociologist at Wayne State University in Detroit. The results showed that starting out heavy puts kids on a trajectory to stay that way.

“If you were overweight at nine months old, it really kind of sets the stage for you to remain overweight at two years,” Moss told LiveScience.

Exactly what BMI scale are they applying to babies? If you have ever had a baby, you know that babies’ sizes ebb and flow. They get fat, then they lengthen out. They get that detachable-hand-and-foot look, with rolls at the most juicy parts. I love that stage! Then, their wonderful little bodies grow long again. My girls have been growing like this for the last 10 years. They are incredibly fit, but they go through stages.

The thing that really steams me about this article is that they apparently don’t study these kids past the age of two. Have you looked at your two-year-old photos? Is your body the same shape now? Just ask my little brother, who was such a little butterball when he was a baby that you could barely see his joints. By the age of 5, he was a little string bean and still is today. Babies and toddlers are supposed to be chubby.

I would love to know who funded this study. I can think of several lobbying groups who would benefit from using this information to brainwash mothers everywhere.

My prediction? Our nation of Obese Children will soon become our nation of neurotic control freaks with eating disorders. What say you?

PS. Sorry for the snark, you know that isn’t like me, but I am truly fed up with this nonsense. Because kids do not all fit into a prescribed mold (a very small one, apparently), we should be educating kids about healthy habits, not weighing, scrutinizing, and bullying them into looking like we think they should. OK, so I did get on my soapbox. Coundn’t help it…
Hat tip to @bkeepsushonest and @Getalonghome for sharing the article on Twitter

lead researcher Brian Moss, a sociologist at Wayne State University in Detroit.

January 1, 2011

It was a glorious day at the beach, on the first day of our family vacation. My in-laws were there, as well as sister- and brother-in-law, nephews, niece. Our three daughters were in heaven as they played in the sand and surf with their beloved cousins, their collective ages between 4 and 10.

All was well with the world. The kids were playing in the sand right down in front of us, and walking back and forth to the water to fill up their buckets. They were all together, and directly in front of us, right? So we didn’t worry. We thought we were watching closely enough.

I can’t remember who said it, but the next sentence stopped us all in our tracks and set off three minutes of pure panic, that felt like an hour.

“Where’s Little Pea?”

And there was at least 3 hours of silence as we looked. OK, 3 seconds, but it sure felt like hours! And then the panic set in. The adults and older kids spread out on the beach looking for her, and it took every ounce of strength inside me to keep breathing.

Little Pea with her "Seaweed Collection"

So many things went through my mind in those long minutes. I saw her face that morning as she climbed into bed with me to snuggle, as we usually do. I heard her sweet voice, with the slightly mispronounced Rs. I saw her joyful eyes, and remembered her tiny baby-frame in my arms 4 years ago. Her whole life was flashing before my eyes. “Is this what happens when you lose someone?” I thought.

Then I saw the future without her. I really did. In my heart, I was pondering how I would live without her… if she was gone.

I looked at the water, and asked God if she was under there. I looked at the others on the beach, and thought that maybe one of them had snatched her. And all I could do was pray.

Actually, I couldn’t even pray. All I could say was, “My God!” over and over again. No, not saying His name in vain, but crying out to Him. I tried to keep myself under control as I asked fellow beach goers if they had seen her- glad I had payed attention to which bathing suit she wore that day.

The beach seemed like it was a million miles long at that point, how could we cover it all?

And then, I saw her. She was about 25 feet away, crying, looking for us. Among the many tan beach tents out there, she had gone to the wrong one. I wished I could just teleport over to her and not have to make the walk, I wanted her in my arms NOW!

My heart was pounding and tears were streaming as I gathered Little Pea up in my arms and smelled her. Yes, I breathed in every bit of her that I could at that moment. I thought I would never put her down. I went through a range of emotions:

Guilt at not keeping more vigilant watch.

Anger at the older kids for not staying closer to her. (Really, how could I expect them to? They’re kids.)

Gratitude to God for keeping her safe, when I couldn’t.

Deep, profound sadness for parents whose stories don’t end like mine. Even now, as I write this, I am weeping for them.

But now, I try to remember this moment when they wake me up at 3AM, when they fight with each other, when they want to help cook dinner and spew flour all over the kitchen. I realize now, that I am not fully in control of my life, or theirs. I want to drink in every moment that the Lord allows me with these beautiful girls and loving husband.

And trust Him… which is hard sometimes.

August 29, 2010

We are having a fabulous family time in Asheville, NC for Real Life Asheville Adventure Week! (#reallifeavl on Twitter)

Today, I get to meet some amazing bloggers at Biltmore Estate to tour the property and share what Biltmore has for families! Yes, that includes you couples who leave the kids with grandma! Judd and I spent our second anniversary at Biltmore Holiday Candlelight Tour! But I’ve never been in the summer to see the magnificent flowers and gardens!

Follow our Biltmore Tweets at #NCBiltmore

Shared at:

A Daily Dose of Toni

5 Minutes for Mom

MomSpective (language warning)

To Be Thode

June 15, 2010

They say, “Be careful what you wish for,” right? What would you say if you had the choice to eat only candy all day, or eat only regular food for the day?

Well, my high-spirited husband spontaneously decided to pose this dilemma to our three daughters last week. I listened intently from the bedroom as the commotion ensued.

“What would you rather have- only candy for the rest of the day? Or only real food and no candy? Once you choose you can’t go back.” he told them, as I thought, “What is he, crazy? What in the world…? ” from the other room.

But it was too late to run in and try to get him to think about the territory into which he stepped. I had to stand aside and let the situation play out.

You see, my oldest daughter HipChick (9) figured out right away that she would rather have food than candy, so the decision was easy for her. My youngest (4) perked up at first at the thought of candy for breakfast, but taking cues from her eldest sister, she decided that real food would be best.

My middle child, Princess (6) is kind of a different animal. She’s pretty impulsive and is sometimes confused by the correlation between actions and consequences. She’s also a dreamer, which can be a great thing! However, at this point in time, her dreams of mountains of candy all day invaded her mind and crowded out all sense of reason.

She chose the candy. Nothing but candy. All day.

Princess grinned through breakfast as her sisters ate cereal, while she chomped on her Smarties. Literally 10 minutes later, Princess realized she was still hungry. But after getting her instand candy gratification, she realized she needed a real breakfast.

“Well, darling, you chose the candy, so you can have more candy if you want.”

“But I want cereal, now. I’m hungry.”

“I gave you a choice. Your sisters chose breakfast, and you chose candy. You knew you’d have to eat candy for the rest of the day.”

Oh, boy, the fury of tears and desperate pleas after this exchange were painful for me to hear. I started out silently challenging my husband, “You’ve really done it this time….”

“I’M STARVING! IT’S NOT FAIR! MY DADDY WON’T LET ME EAT!!!!!” {sobbing}

Every time he would reason with her about her choice, she would start screaming, ” I wanted candy, but now I want FOOD! IT’S NOT FAIR!! YOU’RE MEAN!” {more sobbing}

I wondered how in the world this was going to end. What had started out as a fun experiment was looking like a train wreck. As long as she defiantly refused to admit she made the wrong choice, Judd was firm. She had to live with her choice.

As the situation continued, I realized how wise (if impulsive) my husband was. You see, Princess admittedly has a disconnect between choices and consequences, so this lesson is essential for her to learn. But oh, how hard it was to listen to the manifestations of her regret.

She came crying to me, and I hugged her. “Mommy, Daddy won’t feed me….” {crocodile tears and some extra drama} So I tried to explain to her that Daddy wasn’t doing this TO her, but that she had made a bad choice. She was feeling the pain of her bad choice, and it wasn’t anyone else’s fault. I saw the realization in her eyes, but she wasn’t going to admit it. Apparently, she inherited stubbornness from one of us. (ahem)

I tried to throw her a rescue line, “Sweetie, here’s what you need to do: admit that you made a bad choice, and confess to daddy that you were wrong.” After a split second of considering it, she broke my hug and ran away to put on a great show of sobbing in her room.

The second time she tried to come garner my sympathy, I hugged her tight and repeated my advice. This time, humility entered into her psyche and she sheepishly took the direction. ” Go tell daddy you’re sorry for making the wrong choice and ask if you can have another chance to do the right thing.”

It was beautiful, hearing that exchange, “Daddy, I’m sorry I chose the wrong thing. I really wanted candy for breakfast, but I didn’t think about the rest of the day. Will you forgive me?” And I really think God’s blanket of healing descended upon Princess’ heart that day. She has been different ever since, realizing she has control over how she chooses to react to things. There have been a few struggles, but they last a lot shorter than they use to!

And as I write this, I can’t help but think: Even with my Father in Heaven, haven’t I chosen “candy” over “food,” and felt the consequences? Have I ever shaken my fist at Him and said “this isn’t fair,” when it was MY choice that hurt me?

Have you?

I shared this at Nicole Wick’s “Your Best Blog Now”

March 31, 2010

This is what I signed up for.

I just didn’t realize how hard it would be.

I’ve always wanted to be a mom; I wanted to have 3 kids, stay home with them, and work part-time teaching piano and voice lessons. I have achieved my goals for this part of my life.

But this morning, as the puppy was nipping everyone in sight and barking, as the baby was crying every time I put her down, as my sweet 3 year-old was begging to get my attention and I was trying to get the laundry and dishes done while getting ready to go to my desperately needed work-out, I just wanted to run away. Even more so, this evening when my baby threw up all over herself and her carseat.

I finally understood those people who just walk away from their wonderful lives, whom I’ve always said must be crazy. Who just start over in the most selfish of ways. I didn’t realize how much of myself I would have to sacrifice for these three people whom God, my husband, and I wanted to bring into the world. Almost every part of my life is infringed upon by being a mother: sleep, career, social life, money, my own body (with pregnancy, nursing, and the constant hanging), even whether I get to eat lunch sitting down, or standing up while fixing everyone else’s.

And just when I start to wallow in this realization, I remember, “I signed up for this.” And then comes the guilt and disillusionment at the discovery that I, even for a moment, wanted to walk away from them. That I’m not thankful for every moment spent with them, and the priviledge of doing what I’ve always dreamed. Actually, I have to go feed them dinner right now, so I will have to continue this journal entry later…

Back… After a night’s sleep and a lot of payer, I have a new perspective. I am getting just a glimps of what Jesus felt while He walked the earth. His entire purpose in coming here was to give himself up for his creation. Each time He ate, drank, slept, taught, was tempted, performed miracles, he knew that he would ultimately die a horrible death so we could be reconciled to God. He was pleased to do it. How thankful I am that He did, because now, when I am at my breaking point, I can come to Him directly, express what I’m feeling, and ask Him to change me. He is so faithful to do just that, and I am blessed! (How’s that for a mood swing! I love being a woman!)

March 22, 2007